| (no subject) |
[Dec. 12th, 2009|08:58 am] |
i feel like a sick sad puppy.
i'm SOOOO freaking needy!
no wonder i was single for so long.
my boyfriend goes home for one weekend and i miss him alot :(
I USED TO MAKE FUN OF GIRLS LIKE ME.
NOW IM TURNING INTO ONE. |
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| REJECTED |
[Oct. 18th, 2009|01:29 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hopeful | ] |
twice.
this time.. in the nicest way possible. projecting other people's problems onto ours. i got the confirmation that i needed to hear. it's just another jab at the already cold heart of mine. my heart's so deflated that i don't feel it as much anymore anyway.
you know what? it's really okay. i knew somewhere at the bottom of this loveless heart that it wasn't going to happen anyway. i was honestly sick of chasing you anyway. i don't think a boy is worth it if i literally have to TELL them how i feel, dedicate so much time, and care about them if we're not going to go past the friend stage. the reason i was doing all that was because i thought that you would be the one to open my heart to the possibility of love/like/somethingtofillmyemptyheart. the reason i've been single for so long is because i haven't had the courage to even think about taking a friendship further than what it is. you were the first boy in years that i've wanted to hold hands with but i guess i wasn't the person you wanted to be with in the end.
if this is another case of being friendcarded..
FUCK. THAT. SHIT.
i need to find someone that thinks im worth it.
dear future husband, i know that i don't want to meet you yet because i don't want to settle down at this point in life, but do me a favor and FIND ME SOME DAY. don't go out lingering too far because i will be wanting to be with you, care for you, live my LIFE with you someday. don't settle with someone else because boy, me and you are going have one amazing life.
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| update |
[Aug. 25th, 2009|01:57 am] |
just wanted to say..
i've lost about 15lbs so far this summer.
but i don't notice it THAT much. i do notice clothes fitting better, but i don't think 15 is that significant. |
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| Colorgenics |
[Aug. 14th, 2009|01:38 am] |
i was on my friend bryan's blog. he recently did this "colorgenics" test that told him about himself.
to my SHOCK, mine is EXACTLY me. i am not even kidding. everything from being proud to hiding my emotions. this was ridiculous. i feel like they literally read my personality from just me picking out colors. it's amazing.
Name: Maika
Date: 8/14/2009
Colorgenics Number: 23415607
You work hard, seeking success. You are self-sufficient and in spite of all the trials and tribulations that have beset you in the past you carry on regardless.. You are one to be admired because you pursue your objectives single-mindedly and with initiative. You know that you can 'do it' and what is more, you will - without necessarily being dependent upon the goodwill of others.
Most people are conditioned by their environment and you are no exception. You are an extremely emotional person - so much so that 'the wrong word' can lead you to tears. You feel other people's pain. You feel the need of sympathetic relationships and a pleasant work environment in order to develop and grow. You are an impulsive, loving individual with a great deal of inherent feeling.
Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.
You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.
You are trying to build up your own position and you resist all external influences. You insist that you are your own person and you will not tolerate any outside interference. Decisive and proud, you are true managerial material.
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| summer.. |
[Jun. 27th, 2009|12:19 am] |
summer has been so slow.
i can't even describe how lame days have been.
i literally wake up and then eat.. watch some tv. work out. then eat.
its soooooooooooooo boring.
it's so sad how i look forward to small things.
like.. VEGAS 11 - 13
going to watch lion king and jersey boys |
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| confusion-ism |
[Jun. 24th, 2009|11:32 pm] |
i've always hated the time before you think something is going to happen with someone because it's almost always unpredictable until something is said verbally. Actions are not justified until words solidify them. The argument of friend carded vs. love interest is always in the back of your mind, and that's never a fun discussion. Unless you're on the love train of course, but sometimes it's hard to determine.
But the real question is, when is it the right time to say something? Another question is.. would you risk ruining a friendship knowing it could be shattered the second you say something?
eh, it's just something i've been thinking about. well, it's something that i've ALWAYS thought about.. in this day and age of really comfortable relationships between friends, it's even hard to distinguish whether or not you have feelings for a friend. Sometimes, you can get confused just because you can be really close friends. I sometimes ask myself.. "WAIT, what is going on here? Do i actually have feelings for this boy or is it because i really care about them as a friend?" .. especially when you're in college, and becoming really really close friends with boys isn't taboo; there are no such things are cooties. |
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| less ranting, more raving |
[Mar. 23rd, 2009|05:05 pm] |
so i realized that most of my posts on this blog (that nobody reads) are about boys. well.. you know what? fuck that. let's move on to other interesting things in this world.
i recently just bought a samsung nc10 netbook. i LOVE everything about it. the portability, the battery life, the hard drive space, the big keyboard.. it's definitely a good investment if you want to take something portable to class. i'm very happy with my decision to finally buy one. i'm still trying to find a name for the sucker, because i name alot of my belongings. my last named object is my betta fish, cooper. anyway, my netbook is loaded with 1gb of RAM and 160gb of hard drive. which is what most laptops have now a days anyway. i'm really impressed with the netbook overall. it doesn't feel like a toy and the battery life is amazing. i like that it has alot of small specs that add to its "cool factor" like it's installed bluetooth, SDcard reader, 3 usb ports, and a pimpin' webcam. there are fullsize laptop's that can't even beat this netbook. although it may not be considered the best netbook out there, i'm definitely impressed and i'd recommend it to anyone.
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 10th, 2009|06:17 pm] |
| 3/9/2009 | | 12:22:50 AM | | *sierra [PHILIP] [BBC] | | | | i think that you should go out with him | | 3/9/2009 | | 12:23:01 AM | | *sierra [PHILIP] [BBC] | | | | get to know him better before you make a hasty reaction | | 3/9/2009 | | 12:23:08 AM | | *sierra [PHILIP] [BBC] | | | | then if waht you think is true | | 3/9/2009 | | 12:23:12 AM | | *sierra [PHILIP] [BBC] | | | | then youll know |
ha.
we'll see.
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2009|12:15 am] |
IM GOING TO HOLD MY GROUND.
he doesn't deserve me talking to him.
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 1st, 2009|09:30 pm] |
nobody says it better than britney spears.
oops i did it again.
i played with your heart.
got lost in the game.
i fail.
because as much as i said i didn't care,
i think i got played this time.
and it was all my doing :(
i can never seem to follow my heart.
i ALWAYS seem to have some sort of fantasy in my head about how things turn out.
then i get scared and freak out.
or i end up really liking someone and thinking about things that aren't even there.
and i end up letting myself down.
i need help.
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| meaningful late night conversation |
[Feb. 23rd, 2009|10:58 am] |
i really love late night AIM/MSN conversations with friends. it's those times that you really get to know people because secrets come out at night. so i was having a lengthy conversation with a friend about futures. marriage. kids. religion. careers. and how all those factor together.
in all honesty, i think i'm a very traditional girl. although my past actions have said other wise, as i'm growing up, i find myself more mature and valuing tradition. as with filipino culture, i want a little filipino family with a filipino catholic husband and kids. i've pictured me and boy going to church on sundays together holding hands as the homily goes on. watching my parents going to church and having a strong relationship has made me want something that they have. growing up, through my early high school years i've been called a "playa" because i had my fair share of boys (LOL moment). but i've calmed down in the last four/five years to really take care of myself before anyone else.
as i was thinking about it last night, i was thinking that religion does play a role in what i want as a future husband. it's important for me to know that i need to be with someone that has the same values and morals. although he may not be catholic.. i think it would be important for him to be at least christian. i would need someone to be on the same level to be able to understand what i'd be going through.
i mean.. i guess that's alot to ask for. and i'm too young to even be picky about this sort of stuff. but ideally.. i think that's what i'd want. realistically, if that doesn't happen, as long as i'm in love, i hope that's enough to keep me going. |
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| in all of this turmoil.. |
[Feb. 11th, 2009|10:42 am] |
all i needed are some words of wisdom from an old friend to keep me calm.
phil says: don't worry about that, college is still school and school always comes first. just because you have more freedom now, doesn't mean you have to push all of your priorities aside to live freely.
i'm gonna keep calm. do work. and keep to myself.
the only reason why i keep getting effed over is because i put my frustrations onto people that cause me to say rude things to them. which, ends up to me looking like a bitch. my frustrations over life, school, and work cause rude-ness to ppl who are happy with their lives. in the end i'm probably jealous over their freedoms.
whatever.
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 8th, 2009|12:15 am] |
so IS he really not that into me? or is he just giving the wrong signs? am i friend carded? too may questions when it comes to watching this movie that makes you/me want to re-evaluate your/my love life. have i just found the exception to my rule? what the efffffff.
am i just over looking someone that could be the right person for me.. for now or for a while? maybe i'm just too stubborn to get out of my phase to try new things that i wouldn't want anything different. but i'm just saying.. maybe if i gave people chances that i'd be happier. or maybe this movie is just messing with my mind! haha. nevermind on all that (edited Feb 8)
either way, it was a good movie and i loved it, because more realistically than love actually, it proves even more that love is actually allllllll around.
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| elphaba knows all too well |
[Feb. 5th, 2009|10:11 am] |
i saw wicked last winter break, and i've been obsessed with the songs since the day i heard them.
there's one in particular called "for good" about relationships between friends. one of my favorite lines from the song is..
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good
everytime i hear this song, i'm just thankful.
thankful that my friends are able to deal with me, my insecurities, my moods, my faults, and it's all because they love me.
i should stop complaining about life, because i have people to back me up.
so here's to the loves of my lives.
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| i'm insulted |
[Jan. 8th, 2009|03:44 pm] |
a friend called me "a party pooper" on facebook today because in the past week that school has started, i've purposefully been living as a hermit trying to study and sleep as much as possible. i am so sick of having to try and play catch up when it comes to school homework, readings, lectures. i actually want to do WELL this quarter, i'm aiming high and it can't be done with going out at night, having hang overs, and skipping classes.
i don't want to sound like such a loser.
i'm turning into a grandma each day. sleeping at 11pm and waking up at 8am.
it's so lame.
priorities come first. |
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| revised version of my current blog; |
[Dec. 15th, 2008|08:26 pm] |
now that i have all the time in the world to blog, more random thoughts run around my head. i don't have to think about finals anymore, but good luck to the both of you.
so i started realizing that for every new nice guy that i meet, i automatically have thoughts of possibly falling in love with them. isn't that kind of ridiculous? i've been so bitter over boys for the longest time that i haven't thought of anyone in that way since the notorious incident with raymond napuli. i went to disneyland two weeks ago with a new group of friends and met this guy named _________. he was hilarious and so so nice that i've been talking about him, when in all honesty, i've only met him once and i don't think i'll see him often anyway.
it only makes it worse that it's the holiday season of love and togetherness. PLUS, my 20th birthday.. which is depressing. i haven't fallen for anyone since i was 16 years old. my heart needs to learn how to love again, because it's certainly turning into an empty room. the last time it opened itself up.. it was stomped, beaten, trampled, and every other synonym.
</3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 8th, 2008|10:18 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Blink 182 | ] |
i'm DL'ing the old blink 182 songs like crazy because when i went to the All Time Low show, they played Blink songs during the intervals of the bands.
these songs bring back so many memories, it's ridiculous how songs can make a person nostalgic, huh?
especially the last Blink Cd, which many didn't like, but personally, it was something that i have always liked more than the rest.
Okinawa.
Highschool crushes.
friendships.
my best friend, Jeseline Comicho.
depression.
love.
lust.
the whole CD brings back so many sweet times. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 2nd, 2008|10:41 pm] |
MET ALL TIME LOW THIS WEEKEND!!
BASSIST - Zach
Guitarist/Back up Vocals - Jack
Guitarist/Lead Singer - Alex
MIA - Rian, Drummer
they were amazing!
we saw them, Mayday Parade, The Maine, and Every Avenue!!
they were really entertaining live :]
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| is doing what i do |
[Nov. 2nd, 2008|10:38 pm] |
without regrets and as i please.
stop being emo.
i'm sorry that you've got so many problems with yourself, all i can do is support you through these tough times. maybe i can learn to love you for your faults and indifferences, but for now, i'm trying to enjoy myself.
honestly,
this doesn't even go toward anyone specifically.
it's for everyone!
i'm trying to be optimistic with life, especially since school sucks, but i'm being weighed down by emo kids.
what the hell. |
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againstxallodds's journal
